So I’m sure that most of you know about the 503 errors and database problems and a whole host of other stuff. I propose that we dub this period of time the ‘Grand Outage’.
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Seconded, someone must get the FLARD out of the gears! Its sticking them up something good.
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From what I understand, FLARD reduces the friction coefficient more than ten times better than the top line synthetic oil you can buy (and tastes better too) so if anything, it probabably accidentally got on some drivebelts somewhere in the machine which is why the site is up and making noise all the time, but you just cant get anywhere at those times.
I’m told it tastes minty fresh. And yes, it is a fantastic lubricant.
I’m sorry my analogy was lost on you. Since the servers are digital, there aren’t actually any gears or machinery. It’s the unknown conductive properties of FLARD that are messing up the system. Either its far to conductive, and is sapping the electrical current from the wires, or it’s blocking said current. It’s also possible that FLARD is able to absorb WiFi particles as a food substance.
#####Disclaimer: this is all in good fun is is not necessarily scientifically accurate in any way. WiFi is not made of particles (well actually it kind of is according to quantum theory, but not really, sort of 
).
Hilarious note: I experienced a 503 error multiple times while trying to post this.
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From Experiment Log 447 A - SCP Foundation
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: One (1) Pentium 4 computer: 1.5 ghz, with [DATA EXPUNGED]
Procedure: Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five (5) minutes, with the power cord unplugged.
Results: Subject became caked in goo and no longer functions.
Notes: “Whoever came up with this one should be kicked in the head.” - Dr. A. Clef
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