Sponge Encyclopedia of Programming Jokes

doot · February 22, 2015, 11:25pm

Because we all need a place where we can grab jokes from when coding.

I’ll start:
http://jackgraves.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/devhumor-com_programs.jpg

12AwsomeMan34 · February 22, 2015, 11:45pm

My fav

skittishtrigger · February 23, 2015, 1:37am

I am not a programmer but the one on the right annoys me for some reason… I r confuzzed.(2 types of people one.)

FerusGrim · February 23, 2015, 1:54am

That’s probably why the bottom says ‘Programmers will know’.

mumfrey · February 23, 2015, 1:55am

My favourite one:

A programmer walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 1.00000000000003123939 root beers. Bartender says, “I’ll have to charge you extra, that’s a root beer float.” Programmer says, “Better make it a double.”

Next favourite:

A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, “I know, I’ll solve it with threads!”. has Now problems. two he

Third:

I’d tell you a UDP joke but I’m not sure you’d get it.

Kodfod · February 23, 2015, 7:03am

I moved 8 posts to an existing topic: Code Styling. What do you prefer?

dualspiral · February 23, 2015, 7:34am

I quite like the one:

There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off by one errors.

boformer · February 23, 2015, 7:53am

Especially that.
For me it is extra hard because my first language is German.

doot · February 23, 2015, 7:54am

Sometimes I put a bunch of words and variable names into a random picker and then use that

Kodfod · February 23, 2015, 9:30am

I know this one is very common, but it’s so true:

thomas15v · February 23, 2015, 11:00am

I found this accidently: http://codecrap.com/content/400/.
I wish it was a joke ;-;.

long long time; //ago in a galaxy far away...

FerusGrim · February 23, 2015, 1:38pm

Looks like a decompiled switch statement.

thomas15v · February 23, 2015, 1:47pm

That code doesn’t even require a switch. He should use == with the block he wants to check. Not check all the blocks in the game.

cae1136 · February 23, 2015, 2:15pm

I’d like to hear the UDP joke.

mumfrey · February 23, 2015, 2:21pm

See also What was the strangest coding standard rule that you were forced to follow?

I’d like to hear the UDP joke.

you already did

cae1136 · February 23, 2015, 2:33pm

facepalm
Now I feel dumb.

Psifour · February 23, 2015, 6:56pm

Those are rather spectacular. Thanks for the chuckle.

RobodudeMC · February 23, 2015, 7:02pm

A programmer is simply a mechanism for turning caffeine into code.

And the classic…

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
They can’t C

mumfrey · February 23, 2015, 7:32pm

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
The can’t C

The version I heard was

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
So they can C# (see sharp)

The_Doctors_Life · February 23, 2015, 8:06pm

Sorry for the languge in this one