Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)

A short plea floating up in a bottle from underneath the deluge of API commits …

We got some splainin to do

Absence of Docs will
Do a dev’s brain in
Many API bits still
Need some explaining


Here is a modest and completely incoherent/inconsistent suggestion for a Test Sponge Plugin. It is quintessentially experimental in (or on) nature.

Nothing to see Here

FLARDplugin does magnificent things
We cannot describe the joy it brings
Cryogenic explosive combustible liquid
Charring the shrubbery, summoning squid

Edible expanding and possibly contagious
Engineering possibilities of FLARD are outrageous
Disregard everything; this is only a test.
The real FLARDplugin does not (yet) exist.


If the shoe fits, wear it. If the shoe fits on your head, wear it as a hat.

Papers, Please

Sponge server will rock your socks off
As test plugins knock your blocks off
And API updates write the Docs off
At the stately State of Sponge the third

Witness mixins as the modus operandi
Every developer, dilettante and dandy
Please have your passport papers handy
To enter the State of Sponge and be heard


Having survived the apocalyptic State-of-Sponge III server, here is some helpful guidance

Breaking Sponge

Please come and break our Everything
It needs a robust test
Please squeeze it all, give it a wring
To make our Sponge the best


The sponge-encrusted crater that was once the Test server spawn is a testament to …
… something or other really really profound. K?

The Dragons of SoS III

Sponge multiworld’s glorious dawn
Immortal FLARD salesmen at spawn
Craftbook’s hooks weren’t in it
Broken at the last minute
At the flowerpot memorial we mourn

Zidane spoke of the new API parts
Mumfrey incanted flowcharts
All gave their report
Even those who forgot
As we waited for server restarts

Barriers encased a pet giant
FLARD factory non-safety compliant
Tripod coming ashore
Q&A took the floor
And TNT rain was descendant

To mix-and-match worlds we were summoned
Like puppets at an admins command
Each one with Dragons,
(Who can resist raggin’?)
Often leaving little left of the land

Giant Spongie ruled over the plain
Fallen anvils and evil bunnies remain
Messages in the sky
Made for a happy MsI
Whilst this sleep-deprived bard went insane


This space for rent. Apply to Yggdrasyl Laboratories and our agents will be in contact.
Do not be alarmed by the sudden appearance or disappearance of FLARD

Sponge Uncommon

Twisted like a spiky tree
Branches spanning random arcs
API has been set free
To be entangled in the darks
Of spaces void of information

Explanations we must summon
Developers with time and wit
By methods uncanny and uncommon
Shed some scripted light on it
To aid our lagging documentation


This haiku is dedicated to MsInscrutable, who challenged me to use the word Manatee

Beautiful Guardian

The one eyed mermaid
Was only a manatee
Armed with a laser


Composing prose is one thing you can do whilst waiting for workspace…

Workspace Rime

Refreshing dependencies
To setupDecompWorkspace
Probably never-ending, these
Libs from the other place


[Post Redacted]


I just realised that there are about 150 poems in here. Stunning, just stunning.
Keep it up!

very creative, such poem, much wow :stuck_out_tongue:


In celebration of #53, present humble I composition this.

Dance of the Bugbears

Little things that piss me off
More than they ever should
Every one will be ticked off
As you know they would

Shameless boasting, posting drivel,
Repetitious questions from anon
Petulant pining, sycophantic snivel,
10,000 lines of chat while you’re gone

These bugbears unite to breed every night
Making countless more to collate
Best leave the pests to savour your spite
With a potentially infinite wait


Trivia: The (Golden) Gloak is named after the half-orc god-emperor Gloak, undisputed ruler of the island of Gloak and it’s surrounding Gloaks. May his royal Gloak be ever Gloak beneath the shining Gloak!

Sponge Economy

Inflation is impending
As Sponge absorbs virtual money
The API is trending
Economy devs like bees on honey

How do we exchange
The Triganic Pu for Ningi?
In what value range
Is the Gloak and the Zing?

The Flainian Pobble Bead
Simply will not do
When all you really need
Is a single Brass Razoo

Will your hedge collapse
Like the poor Altarian Dollars?
Soon we will need new apps
As Sponge Stock Market follows


Effective efflorescence of the beautiful flowers of Sponge requires fertiliser

Sponge Bait

If people like to fix broken stuff
We could put awful place-holders
Anywhere the project needs love
To encourage growth in our folders

In the soil we are planting seeds
So spongiform flowers may grow
Or thick mats of competing weeds
Good for compost, then we re-sow


Do undead developers keep their brain in a .jar?

Sponge Bait Part 2

Development prospects are buoyed
By an enthusiastic plugin crew
Not only must it fill the void
Sponge must offer something new

FLARD is literally a different matter
Probably inimical to survival
But it’s unpredictable behaviour
May be the key to our revival


Sponge doesn’t just expand the mind, it also works on the peripheral nervous system

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Sponge

Extra lettters may be present in this messsage,
A bonus from inclusion of FLARD
Some extra fingers may be present on your keyboard,
We caution you, do not be alarmed

This is personal growth, and secret knowledge
Know that more is always bettter
What could posssibly go wrong ever, when we
Folllow instructions to the Lettter


Of all the possible endings of this sentence, how many feature FLARD?

Trapped in a Tesseract

A world connected at the borders
Resembles the surface of a hoop
North meets South, East meets West

Reconnect them in other orders
Create a far more complex group
Join up and down as well, to test

Walk an n-dimensional torus
Traverse a multiply connected loop
Vast Hyperspatial Donuts are the best


Is there a name for that moment just after writing something, when you discover the facts changed while you were writing it?

Sponge Staff Shuffle

Purging of questionable staff titles
Coincided with sk89q re-emerging
Re-energising the Sponge-dev vitals
Delivering the docs some more purging

Thus Owexz temp-promotion was truncated
A Retirees List was added to our plan
As the newest developments were debated
A stray Dark_Arc returned to the clan

So if you’re out there and wondering
How to join the odd dance of development
Reach out with brilliance or blundering
Sponge deploys absorptive envelopment


More Haiku in celebration of new achievements and challenges

Working with Wood

With only wood tools
JoeSchmo made a nether gate
From a lava pool

Now for the encore
Slay a Dragon with snowballs
Then whack a Wither

1 Like

An ode to the coming Solstice

Sponge Solstice

Mountain snow is falling
Wintry Sponge is calling
The snowball is now rolling
Slowly growing in mass and moment

Spongy summer of the North
Plugins freely sprouting forth
Make hay now for all it’s worth
For Solstice tributes to present


According to some schools of logic, it seems I am inarguably an Ent

Ent-cyclopedia Spongica

I’d like to be
A walking tree
In a great big walking forest
Somewhere else

I’d be an Ent
Gnarly and bent
In a great big walking forest’s
Verdant dells

We’d be so happy, we could deliberate for weeks
Give or take a season as the perennials speak
We’d never rush decisions on the branches we see
Help plant a great big walking forest with me

(To the tune of “Octopuses Garden” by the Beatles)