Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)

For better or worse, I seem to have become Sponge Poet Laureate.
William McGonagall, eat your heart out.

This thread will be frequently updated with new original works of creative Spongification.
These works may vary from bad to abominable, striving to be less than awful. You have been warned.
Feel free to quote, misquote, use or misuse, as long as attribution is given :wink:

Disclaimer: Any resemblance between anything and anything else is unintentional and a product of your imagination.

An Ode to Recent Events.

The bright stars in the blocky firmament
Came raining down a stormy night
Settling upon the Forge of Blood
In a sea of Sponghetti


This would be longer but I ran out of chalk for my slate.

I cannot decide if it is a Pun or a Metaphor

From the widening hole in the broken Bukkit
Flowed a new sea of what-if and why-not
With chunks of wisdom and a stroke of luck,
It’s the perfect soup for a new Sponge to Blot


Thank you, Thank you, for that enthusiastic round of apathy! Here’s another one.

The Sponge of Damocles

Like a Pie, the API
Hangs up in the Sky
The nascent and nebulous Sponge
Below it the masses
Cannot reach it’s assets
No matter how far up they lunge
High programmers alone
Preside on that throne
Still learning to master the Force
So craft as you will -
We’ve Still got Vanilla
as Plain as the Forum’s Discourse


Dear people and things (No offense intended to people or things): here is another Thing.

Invoking the New Math

Developers striving ever harder
Draughts of heady widsom imbibe
Perhaps too much java java java
When they installed BistromathLib

Sponge is the new Towel. Always know where your Sponge is.

From IRC: [Owexz] Inscrutable: Have you been using bistromathics again?


By request from @Stefenatefun (Please don’t throw fruit and veg at him, throw it at me, I have hungry hens to feed) I present a proposal for the new Sponge Anthem.

[Not sure if Heavy Metal, Country Metal or Jazz Poetry]

Sponge Server Anthem


  • What can you do, What should you do,
  • What will you do when the bukkit breaks through?
  • Pick up the pieces, take up the slack,
  • Sponge up solutions 'til the server comes back

Perched at the top, in storms and rain,
Programmer Ovelords cackling and insane
Blood from the cauldron and eldritch sk89q,
Chart a course to bind the old and new
Pulled by Zidane, and pushed to the repo
Put the wringer on Sponge and made the flood deeper
With PR’s abundant both naive and ingenious
Go sort which is which, and be most expedious
Hot elements were conjured by cpw from Forge
Then ProgwmL6 and AbrarSyed carried the torch
Senor GUIpsp, and others, poured past the dross
Hot new tools were quenched by Spout’s tinker DDoS
Yet many more gather, to see the prognosis
Sponge is expanding, seized by Osmosis
Admins are administering, Dev’s walk the walk
All that is left for the rest, is to talk
Give a cheer, and a toast, to the Sponge Mob
There will always be cheese, in this daft job
No matter, fly or fail, things are on the mend
Because it brought us all together, in the end.


I’m experimenting with different ideas in my head. I’m imagining power metal, rap metal, death metal, and other subgenres in my head that may or may not work with this.

Too bad I can’t write music. If I could, this would all be easier.

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One bucket of poetic license, applied liberally. Caution: Not safety assessed.

Nomen Spongiformata

Names for the Sponge builds to share
Conflicting opinions everywhere
Components from Proponents
Have settled the opponents
Next release: Rabid Drop-Bear


Nothing to see here, move along, move along …

Sailing off the Edge of the World

Millions of wishlists all but overwhelms
Tiny Mojang AB and their fortunate plot
Harsh winds of fate shake up the Realms
As Notch sails into the sunset aboard his Mink Yacht

A new hand has seized this craft’s tiller
Mines are now Microsoft’s payoff
Will this be a lifeline, or the killer?
Or just business as usual: utter chaos.


A short time ago, on a computer not very far away …

An Ode to #Sponge

Ceaseless cascades of critics
Optimists Anarchists Cynics
Appear on my screen in a swell

Petulant vexing and ass****s
Naughty words URLs and trolls
Disappear in a Dark Arcane spell

Enjoying the spongy welcome
Ex-bukkiteers Tahg and Grum
Arrived to hear the hoary tales

News of the core’s development
Is obscured in an envelopment
Clamouring to know what it entails

Never talk of your favourite OS
And FFS don’t mention Lex
Or it’s over before you can know

Owexz and the Sponge Mod-Team
Charged to keep communications clean
Scarcely manage to stem the flow


There be trouble down at th’ Rumour Mill.

Cooking with Sponge

Tis said the broth may be spoiled
If too many chefs add their oil
The cauldron will soon overboil
And we can’t use the sponge to absorb it

Tis said there’s too many chiefs
Yet few Indians ('cept Abrarsyed, at least)
Unbounded potential for grief
But in this game, that’s just standard orbit


Nothing is Everything. Everything is Nothing. Or somewhere in-between…

Goddess of the MoonSponge

In the splendid new Porifera
We can see at the Periphera
Artemis and her Immutable Bag.

Yet another abstraction layer
To render Minecraft multiplayer
And lessen the inevitable lag


I seem to have developed a strange fixation with Bardur’s mountain.
Fantastic and fantastically dangerous, and a glorious distraction

PoripheroClastic Flow

Sponge Devs rumble in their bunker,
Building up like Bárðarbunga
Flowing language, arcane and strange
This for sure: Terrain will change


To avoid over-exertion I have deployed the form of Haiku

Pull Request #666

Feature Completeness
Is when the Sponge API
Makes me a sandwich


I noticed that Zidane was somewhat flustered when referred to as a “Hero of Sponge”.
Clearly, this needs an Epic Poem to explain in full, for which I apologise in advance.

Sponge: The Epic - Part 1.229

O Heroes of Sponge, Fight Fiercely
Thou must slay the Dragons of Doubt
Keep annals of all your great deeds
Lest you suffer the same fate as Spout

There lie infinite uncharted oceans
Where Sponge may founder on rocks
Yet there is no more terrible void
Than the absence of good javadocs


In the style of Vogon Poetry, I present this.
[2413 lines redacted for brevity, and fun]

Ambient Pleasantness of the Noodly Appendage

O Spongy One!
O Spongy One!
O Spongy Three, or Four, or even Seven!
Riddled be the windy path
Around in circles at my feet
Hopping on one foot for no valid reason.
Shine! Fuzzy grey clouds
With not much precipitation
Winds light to Variable. 8-17
All at once, surged the turgid sky
Embraced by the One
As I flabbergasted
O Spongy One!
O Spongy Eleven point Two!
O who put this in my boot?
Sensible Boots.
So I fell
Passing through myself
Resolving into this:
I Love You Flying Sponghetti Monster


Apropos of nothing, other than to cleanse your mind of Vogon Poetry,
I present a Zen Haiku more worthy of contemplation.

Consider Your Self, Buddha

When the Buddha says
The Self is an Illusion,
Who is being fooled?


Obligatory return to the topic of Sponge
Now, back to our continuing Epic, wherein our Heroes appear to be trapped in a Temporal Hysteresis. Or something.

Sponge: The Epic - Part 3.810

At last the Sponge provides succour -
A Sandwich with Ham and Tomato!
Toast a sandwich in honour of FAILbot
Victorious over the evil Eduardo

One sour taste remains lingering
Not quite vanished in layers of source;
All must re-apply for an application
to make make the application (of course).


After a hard night drinking, Lassie falls down the well and finds Gojira.
Meanwhile, in the latest episode of the obscure epic of Sponge …

Sponge: The Epic - Part 4.010

Deep in the Keep creatures Creep
Rarely surfacing from their hole
SK and the team wield their hammers
Playing API development whack-a-mole

In the Labs of Gratimax & Falkreon
Mutant Lapis Blue absorbed poor Pore.
When Kainzo and crew start development
Then Sponge will have Heroes for sure!

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Poetic Mystical Semblance Warning:
BellyButton-Lotus-AAA +++GOOD.Emancipation Level Guru Goofiness.

Messenger from Elsewhere

The man from Sponge was here today
Lurking in the channels and corridors
Leaving cryptic messages

Was or wasn’t he there on the stair
Haunting the forum like an echo
Holding a thin straw grasped tightly

As the party gathered around the grave
Casting in flowers and memories
Murmurs were heard, will it last any longer

Standing outside, a shadowed crowd
Unseen to one another, shuffle softly
The men from Sponge, each one alone

Stepping inside the newborn Gestalt
Each one could rise as the others
Sharing a common face and fate

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Frolicking gaily through IRC one spring evening, I encountered the legendary Golden Bilge.

On the Topic of Licenses

Seeking a license to protect their efforts
Unwitting devs ask the Trolls and the Mephits.
The implicit license of Vito & Vito still lingers…
“You Touch My Stuff, I Break Your Fingers”

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