Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)

“time for a random quote on the next bardic ramblings” – gabizou
at runtime, you can set it just fine, even bytecode can re-assign

Sponge: The Epic - Part 49.920

The creature has new features
With asynchronous everything
Their new battlefront reaches
To inventory implementing

Enabling horses to be queried
Expansive developments creep
Delving into legacy mystery
The containers of EntitySheep

Production is also prevailing
Upon Spongie’s signature icon
We all awaiting the unveiling
Of the sack of bling for MineCon

4 Likes

“What… what if Christmas really stole Christmas and framed me?” – Grinch

Peaceful Apocalypse

Sliver moon wanes behind the rain
Another peaceful evening reprieved
Lightning strikes upon the plain
Dread skeletal horsemen conceived

The four riders are not appeased
By the dismissal of all life
They pay game difficulty no heed
In their pursuit of ruin and strife

1 Like

My gawd… Nice try Grinch but you are not getting out of this one :wink:

1 Like

What’s the worst that could happen, everything turns into exploding spiders?

Mysterious Tunnels

The world is full of holes
The work of more than moles
In labyrinths cavernous
Lurk creatures ravenous
Who eat rocks but eschew rolls

3 Likes

Reminds me of The Enigma of Amigara Fault http://imgur.com/gallery/ZNSaq

“eh also I kind of might have introduced a bug that has thrown several hundreds of thousands of errors” – windy

Who Goes Where?

We’ll watch this space
For a familiar face
Whilst the party-goers revel

Young Spongie has grown
So let it be known
That Sponge is on the Level

Our brave team at the Con
Engaged sages and won
The development tide has turned

SpongeDevs stand beside
Minecrafters with pride
Knowing it has been well earned

3 Likes

“I don’t know much of the sponge API, I just hang around here to look pretty” – DemonWav

Wrongfooted

Walking on the battlement
I spied an archway out of place
Laid scaffold across the space
Then with usual style and grace

I fell off again

  • A sudden meeting with the ground
  • The unpleasant crunchy sound
  • Scattered items all around

Climbing darkened mountains
Loaded horse I also take
For the ridge path we will make
Skirting around the Magma lake

I fell off again […]

Flying in a zeppelin
Mining ore or sailing a ship
Wherever there’s a chance to slip
You remember being on this trip

I fell off again […]

1 Like

There’s been Revert "Revert "Revert "Revert ...""" on some repos… – kashike

The Daily Olds

The news gets old
The pages are static
Updates we’re told
Aren’t quite automatic

Fastly working slowly
Can it fix the mess?
'twas a mess originally
The answer: No and Yes

4 Likes

“people are always going to do stupid shit whether we like them to or not, but at least encouraging them to do stupid shit in a predictable way provides some limitation on the possible blast radius” – Mumfrey

Forge Powered

Forge can now manage Energy
After long years of debate
Squeezing in redstone synergy
For a piezoelectric state

Though tickets toil and trouble
Have brought us to this hour
Development was inevitable
Know you can’t Fight the Power.

4 Likes

The most important and powerful rank isn’t Admin, Overlord, or Owner.
It’s Janitor. Who else will clean up the mess after everyone’s done?

All the World’s a Stage (SOS XII)

Behind the golden stage
Frantic workers scurry
Squabbling and spiting
Fooling and fighting
To be first to discover
No buckets dampen spirits
The show must go on

Diving from the gallery
Gliding gracefully
Across the audience
Smacking suddenly
Like a windscreen bug
Sliding into the pool
Such is the price of fame

Hidden camera harried
Revealed by broadcast
Daft builders pursuit
Bring blasts from above
Yet everything smooth
The console in control
Showing sheer SpongePower

6 Likes

Today, let’s look through the round window.

Frantic Juggler

So many balls in the air at the moment
And I’m sure at least one is really a shoe
Until it drops we’re stuck with the present
So FLARD only knows what to do

2 Likes

In all this branding, we’ve neglected to give Spongie a clan Tartan… this may be for the best.

Recalcitrant Storage

Backup HDD refusing to talk
In a spare PC it made not a squawk
Then returned from this strife
The disc span back to life
It just wanted to be taken for a walk

1 Like

I regard each Issue not so much as a rotting albatross, but as a friendly companion teddy bear that I can occasionally bash with a bat.

Wall of Deflagration

Safely protected inside the world region
Testing foxplugins on Sponge’s new engine
Explosions incapable of harming this space
Red torches and dynamite decorate the place

Sudden cannonades disrupt the silence
TNT flowers efflorescing with violence
An unending stream of flying munitions
Tore up outside terrain like nuclear fission

An amazing display, albeit unexpected
A delightful defence, region cannon protected
We could keep this new feature, just let it be
Although unexpected visitors might not agree

1 Like

The user is invited to rearrange the words of this sentence to suit their own convenience.

The Lumber of Wisdom

The forest is hidden behind trees
Wandering like lonely lost bees
Wondering mysterious new flowers

We seek the ephemeral branches
That entwine mystical answers
Underneath their shady bowers

Seek the source by it’s roots
Through the brambles and shoots
At the end of the mire and bog

Scribed in its’ bark like a burn
Finally we may read and learn
The omniscience of the changelog

3 Likes

Thanks for subscribing to Latvian Turbo-Riverdance Monthly – phroa

All is Essence

They cry help once and disappear
With barely words to quote
No audience to listen here
… I’ll get my coat

2 Likes

Upvote, Spongineers! Upvote! Lend us your appendages! I shall grant thee :koala:

Taxidermise Taxonomy

A Horse is not a Llama
Classification: drama
Watch as the confusion escalates

The distinction is vivid
In Equine versus Camelid
Even though both are Ungulates

The Llama is not a Horse
Cloven hoofed of course
But an even-toed Artiodactyla

Odd-toed Perissodactylae
Horses and Rhinos of today
Include the Unicorn most spectacular

3 Likes

Is there too much FLARD in your flowerpot?
Yggdrasyl Laboratories’ experimental deFLARDification service may be for you!

Legs Eleven

Sponge 1.11 is here
So raise up a cheer
To the marvellous poriferan creatures

Cometh and getteth it
Re-examine the the epithet
That bugs can be thought of as features

3 Likes

Modded Minecraft sometimes puts you in the odd situation of actually looking forward to to jumping into a dark chasm infested with giant scorpions and crocodiles.

Putting Things on Top of Other Things

A stack of villagers with a sheep on top
Went limbo dancing into Lothlorien
A collision with a treehouse made them drop
Will the high elves let a sheep get in?

A boat on a squid is a mini-submarine
Boats mounted on bats can be flying cars
A bat-boat with Withers is a killing machine
But (Boats in Boats) recursion probably goes too far

2 Likes

We thank you for your interest in these words and sentences.
Interested patrons are invited to read them again at their leisure.

FLARDsgiving

The Season of FLARD happens throughout the year
For we seize upon every advertising opportunity
Making many mysterious announcements appear
Thus the chance of an encounter approaches unity

A portal looks out from this sea of stupefaction
Riding their bandwagon right off the rails
Our product providing a welcome distraction
From unending inundation by seasonal sales

Brand every cup, saucer, flagpole and beast
Let everyone encounter its green-ish magnificence
Complimentary FLARD samples accompany each feast
Installations in shopping malls makes super sense

The mission: to spread love of FLARD everywhere
Mystical, unpredictable, immune to greed
So give of the FLARD and let them know you care
Satisfaction not necessarily quite guaranteed

6 Likes

Some observations from a recent visit to South Australia, in verse of course

The Monster of Burra

I found an empty minecart
Outside a barren mine
Lying at the heart
Of a region soaked in wine

Tools were long abandoned
The ore was spent and gone
Brewing the new standard
For the southland to be won

1 Like