Conflict of Interest: Is it safe to use FoxGuard to protect a chicken coop?
Lost in Another World
Fruition of mission
From the modders position
Warps the frame of the game
Almost beyond recognition
Traders and Raiders
Repelling waves of invaders
With contraptions and munitions
All complicated by shaders
Art imitates life
Replete with fortune and strife
We simulate the same fate
A virtual edge of a knife
Now you should realize what the phrase RTFM means. In front of your grandma, it means:
āRead the Fine Manualā ā ancient wisdom from sibomots
RTFM
If youāre confused by a unicode snowman
Inner workings comprehensible to no man
Bafflement is a significant omen
The problem perennial
Read the Fine Manual
When all your recipes crash and burn
Every valiant attempt it will spurn
A resource to which you should turn
For clarity when youāll
Read the Fine Manual
Should you be unable to find assistance
In spite of your insistent persistence
We recommend you go the full distance
Hurdle the final stall
Read the Fine Manual
"We seriously need a new name for that event.
Everytime I think, hmā¦ meat in a can." ā Dockter (re. SPAM)
Sponge Parroty Amusement Montage
Here are some alternative names for a laugh
BOSS: Backroom Organisation of Sponge Staff
FUSS: Federation Unifying Spongieās Slaves
CLOC: Collected Locutors Orating in Caves
SPING: Sponge Powered Ideas Network Gathering
SPONG: Silly People Only Nattering & Gibbering
SponC: The Spongineers Crucible
SQID: The Squeegee Indivisible
RDF: The Random Dev Factor
SQBR: The SqueezeBox Reactor
SPAQH: Secret Poriferan Assembly Quasi-Hexannial
SADISM: Sing-Along Developers Interactive Sponge Manual
and what about FLARD?
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM YGGDRASYL LABS EMERGENCY BIODISASTER BROADCAST SYSTEM:
We advise that FLARD does not feature in this article. Thank You.
I am Unstackable
To keep build speed on track
Iāll use functions like //stack
Via WorldEditās handy select
I report a recent mishap
That has revealed a strange trap
For the unwary architect
My deeds it chose to abort.
A warning appeared, please report
Into console you must delve
Of bad news I must be the bearer
Because it always threw an error
When I tried to stack myself
ātime for a random quote on the next bardic ramblingsā ā gabizou
at runtime, you can set it just fine, even bytecode can re-assign
Sponge: The Epic - Part 49.920
The creature has new features
With asynchronous everything
Their new battlefront reaches
To inventory implementing
Enabling horses to be queried
Expansive developments creep
Delving into legacy mystery
The containers of EntitySheep
Production is also prevailing
Upon Spongieās signature icon
We all awaiting the unveiling
Of the sack of bling for MineCon
āWhatā¦ what if Christmas really stole Christmas and framed me?ā ā Grinch
Peaceful Apocalypse
Sliver moon wanes behind the rain
Another peaceful evening reprieved
Lightning strikes upon the plain
Dread skeletal horsemen conceived
The four riders are not appeased
By the dismissal of all life
They pay game difficulty no heed
In their pursuit of ruin and strife
My gawdā¦ Nice try Grinch but you are not getting out of this one 
Whatās the worst that could happen, everything turns into exploding spiders?
Mysterious Tunnels
The world is full of holes
The work of more than moles
In labyrinths cavernous
Lurk creatures ravenous
Who eat rocks but eschew rolls
āeh also I kind of might have introduced a bug that has thrown several hundreds of thousands of errorsā ā windy
Who Goes Where?
Weāll watch this space
For a familiar face
Whilst the party-goers revel
Young Spongie has grown
So let it be known
That Sponge is on the Level
Our brave team at the Con
Engaged sages and won
The development tide has turned
SpongeDevs stand beside
Minecrafters with pride
Knowing it has been well earned
āI donāt know much of the sponge API, I just hang around here to look prettyā ā DemonWav
Wrongfooted
Walking on the battlement
I spied an archway out of place
Laid scaffold across the space
Then with usual style and grace
I fell off again
Climbing darkened mountains
Loaded horse I also take
For the ridge path we will make
Skirting around the Magma lake
I fell off again [ā¦]
Flying in a zeppelin
Mining ore or sailing a ship
Wherever thereās a chance to slip
You remember being on this trip
I fell off again [ā¦]
Thereās been Revert "Revert "Revert "Revert ...""" on some reposā¦ ā kashike
The Daily Olds
The news gets old
The pages are static
Updates weāre told
Arenāt quite automatic
Fastly working slowly
Can it fix the mess?
'twas a mess originally
The answer: No and Yes
āpeople are always going to do stupid shit whether we like them to or not, but at least encouraging them to do stupid shit in a predictable way provides some limitation on the possible blast radiusā ā Mumfrey
Forge Powered
Forge can now manage Energy
After long years of debate
Squeezing in redstone synergy
For a piezoelectric state
Though tickets toil and trouble
Have brought us to this hour
Development was inevitable
Know you canāt Fight the Power.
The most important and powerful rank isnāt Admin, Overlord, or Owner.
Itās Janitor. Who else will clean up the mess after everyoneās done?
All the Worldās a Stage (SOS XII)
Behind the golden stage
Frantic workers scurry
Squabbling and spiting
Fooling and fighting
To be first to discover
No buckets dampen spirits
The show must go on
Diving from the gallery
Gliding gracefully
Across the audience
Smacking suddenly
Like a windscreen bug
Sliding into the pool
Such is the price of fame
Hidden camera harried
Revealed by broadcast
Daft builders pursuit
Bring blasts from above
Yet everything smooth
The console in control
Showing sheer SpongePower
Today, letās look through the round window.
Frantic Juggler
So many balls in the air at the moment
And Iām sure at least one is really a shoe
Until it drops weāre stuck with the present
So FLARD only knows what to do
In all this branding, weāve neglected to give Spongie a clan Tartanā¦ this may be for the best.
Recalcitrant Storage
Backup HDD refusing to talk
In a spare PC it made not a squawk
Then returned from this strife
The disc span back to life
It just wanted to be taken for a walk
I regard each Issue not so much as a rotting albatross, but as a friendly companion teddy bear that I can occasionally bash with a bat.
Wall of Deflagration
Safely protected inside the world region
Testing foxplugins on Spongeās new engine
Explosions incapable of harming this space
Red torches and dynamite decorate the place
Sudden cannonades disrupt the silence
TNT flowers efflorescing with violence
An unending stream of flying munitions
Tore up outside terrain like nuclear fission
An amazing display, albeit unexpected
A delightful defence, region cannon protected
We could keep this new feature, just let it be
Although unexpected visitors might not agree
The user is invited to rearrange the words of this sentence to suit their own convenience.
The Lumber of Wisdom
The forest is hidden behind trees
Wandering like lonely lost bees
Wondering mysterious new flowers
We seek the ephemeral branches
That entwine mystical answers
Underneath their shady bowers
Seek the source by itās roots
Through the brambles and shoots
At the end of the mire and bog
Scribed in itsā bark like a burn
Finally we may read and learn
The omniscience of the changelog
Thanks for subscribing to Latvian Turbo-Riverdance Monthly ā phroa
All is Essence
They cry help once and disappear
With barely words to quote
No audience to listen here
ā¦ Iāll get my coat