Truly obscure and abominable puns await the unwary. Confusion is assured.
Let it suffice to say that, short on material, I used Github as inspiration …
Douglas and the Shovel
Servers struggle and survive
Plugins work and players thrive
By the legacy of Spigot
Sponge has shown the reason why
Through recent pulls in the API
We can really Dig it.
It may be apparent to the scrupulous observer that I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about.
These very sentences are an excellent example.
One Disclaimer To Rule Them All
When there are licenses you’re infrigin’
It won’t matter if you’re chief or indian
Administering MIT
Will set your works free
All Hail Prime Minister Sponge Engine
I tip my hat to boformer, who wrote an of an amusing parody API called Unicorn.
Here I present an elucidation and extrapolation in rhyming verse, with apologies
Friendship is a Unicorn
Perfection itself has been revealed
The MC-API to rule the field
UNICORN will do ALL The Things!
Where the only bugs have Butterfly Wings
More than squares will grace your palette
Triangles construct all the things you can get
Who needs gravity, or physical laws
Bend light round corners and even through doors
Infinite view distance, infinite height
Colours in IR and UV are way out of sight
But wait! There’s more, it dusts your floors
Does your washing and other small chores
It squares the circle and un-curdles milk
Turns all your pyjamas into pure silk
This magical interface is sure to endear
So put up your feet and let it serve beer.
Once in a while we really need something totally abstruse.
The Great Tinker
There once was a tinker in the depths of the world
Arranging the minerals into new patterns
Whilst great lakes were sunk and vast mountains hurled
Beneath the sun-cube’s eternal lantern
Where he lurks now, the Void only knows
His legacy lingers within cavernous halls
Forgotten deep places where no traveler goes
Speak ancient secrets from glyph-inscribed walls
A modest proposal for a Drinking Song for Sponge
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Sponge
A toast to all the devs for the countless mods and plugins I’ve deployed
Another for those who maketh the APIs and servers I’ve enjoyed
Drink again to the new Sponge crew and the blank slate they hold in their hands
Then raise a mug to the texture artists whose magic remakes familiar lands
Cheers to the happy builders and crafters who make metropolis of terra nova
One more for the Mojangstas past and present, and probably then fall over
Upon defeating the alpha Goannasaurus, they all had ice-cream.
There may be a subtle and barely-detectable subtext in this latest episode.
Sponge: The Epic - Part 6.522
Heroes lost in the madding crowd,
The party goes astray
Too many voices overly loud
They can barely find their way
We must invoke the powers of old
To keep this strange ship steady
Overlords of Sponge, be true and bold
Just make the f***ing Wiki, already
Excuse the hiatus, and somber tone. My 18 year old cat Arioch has gone away 
I Miss Them All
Cats walk through our lives
Upstaging trivial wants
In their short time here
My deepest condolences to you sir. The death of your cat must be most tragic indeed.
Having played MC since alpha, it always struck me that some aspects of the game seemed a bit cheap. As if they were just tests, place-holders, awaiting an upgrade to more meaningful content. Yet many of them are still with us today. Sponge is a good example, finally having a use at last. Here I wax lyrical on this observation
Placeholders
Nothing more beyond the horizon
Infinitely possible quantum foam
Background blue to lay your eyes on
Not a single word in any Tome
Simple marionettes stiffly strut
Standing in for what could have been
Immutable bedrock below the cut
To keep the yawning void unseen
Roaming in the wilds wide-eyed
New becomes rare and aims fewer
Onward to the End you may ride
Ensnared in monotone overture
The hope of new wonders recedes
With every step into the realm
Scant information feeds the seeds
To immerse, absorb, overwhelm
Always lingering the suspicion
On Ancient maps with edges curled
Are there secrets in this vision
Hidden past the edge of the world?
Playing Minecraft is like Sailing an Iceberg. Or is it Sailing an Iceberg is like Playing Minecraft …
It was something about icebergs, anyway. In the meantime, something else:
Waiting for Sponge
Hark: the Moderator declares
Sponge API expected in November
With such a brief gestation
This will be a birthday to remember
Gleeful parents may lie exhausted
Yet the task they cannot abandon
One vast update will still beckon
As Sponge needs Forge to stand on
We stand in awe and expectation of
The Dedication of Forge’s LexManos
We wonder how it is possible that
He hasn’t utterly gone bananas.
Take Heart, brave Adventurers of the Sponge Realm. Know that you can mix it with the best
There was an old lady who had a boot, but that’s another story. Here’s this one:
Sponge: The Epic - Part 9.108
Complex work in a crowded corridor
Delicate adjustments and fixin’
Deep shadows set upon the cobble floor
As Mumfrey and Z begin Mixin
Artemis awaits in the antechamber
For the ECS build to begin
Have a valiant hack and never look back
There’s always a Derp in Underpin
This may or may not be correct form for Haiku, depending upon your choice of pronunciation, as the following demonstrates
Do you speak Alphaghetti?
Another Haiku
Pondering how to pronounce
sk89q
This message brought to you by the makers of FLARD - the new Wonder-Product!!
No whales or cetacean by-products are used in the manufacture of Flard
Sponge: The Epic - Part 10.999
Enter the quagmire of the Unofficial
All is permitted and nothing approved
Things temporary and superficial
Parts of the landscape abruptly removed
Somewhere deep in the miasma
The Heroes of Sponge stay afloat
This would all be reduced to plasma
If Sponge were devoured by SpaceGoat.
My Lyrical interpretation of something that virtually happened, more or less
Also brought to you by Wondrous FLARD, now environmentally friendly
20.00 Blocks under the Sea, Reprise
Bulkheads suddenly broken
Torrents flooded the place
Torches quenched to darkness
Then squid start fondling my face
Stuck in Davey Jones’ Locker
To Submarine depths I plunge
This may have been forestalled
If I had built the deck of Sponge
To properly simulate the correct state of being for an enhanced poetic experience,
extend your arms outward, palms facing downward, and intone “brrrmmmmmmmmmmm”
Flight of the Sponge
Flying over the poriferan realms
Suspension of disbelief holds me aloft
One compensation in these barrens
If I fall, the landing will be soft
Every user of Sponge gets a coupon for free FLARD! Free Sponge with every can of FLARD!
Bridge over the River Flard
Bring us the finest of Engineers
Laud us with the art of Great Techs
We need new paths to modded spheres
For we now labour under 1.8.X
Lay down the fresh wet Sponge bricks
Cross the chasm a dauntless vanguard
And when you announce the new Fix
We shall toast with a fresh vat of FLARD!
What is your response to the allegations that FLARD has been responsible for the spontaneous combustion of thousands of people? And the fact that whale populations seem to decrease proportionally to the increased usage of FLARD?
The Mad Scientists of Yggdrasyl Laboratories, Creators of FLARD, have prepared this statement
I have transcribed it from the original beer mat and translated it through cantonese and swahili
FLARD: It’s Time To Say …
Dance and Twirl and Frolic
Drink like you’re an alcoholic
FLARD has come to a town near you!
Cheer and Leap and Cavort
YggLabs have come to Exhort
FLARD lets you see the world anew!
Despite rumours and Tales
FLARD is NOT made from Whales
This Caveat to all of our Fans:
FLARD is made in a facility
that shares the ability
To process blubber into cans
If prepared by amateurs
With unwise parameters
FLARD may suddenly burst into flame
FLARD concentrate blocks
Stay behind secure locks
YggLabs thus defers any blame
The Secret Recipe remains
Hidden inside the brains
Of the Overlords of Yggdrasyl
The research continues
At our secretive venues -
Will Black FLARD be good or ill?
The ETA for the new Spigot is in the same ball-park as Sponge. It’s a race!
Turning On the Spigot
Spigot promises a revival
To ensure plugin’s survival
Reversing the obfuscation by hand
Which will be done first?
Will Sponge or Spigot burst?
Will the effort be blown away like sand?
Yet, One way or another
Each project like a brother
Builds another shoulder to stand on
Every effort that is shared
Lets the best ideas be aired
Leaving none behind them to abandon
Time for a Change of Pace: Sponge Surf Rock.
EDIT: Please note that this is not an instruction manual 
Spammin’ in the IRC
Information wants to be free
DMCA means nothin’ to me
Send Lawyers Sponge and Money
Then where should we all be?
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC
Making conversation Hard
Distractions from an insane Bard
Intensive marketing of FLARD
Moderator holds up the Red Card
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC
Accidental flooding inundation
Bizarre nicks in high rotation
Weirdness in high concentration
The power of silly gravitation
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC
Set us free, unvoice the cacophony
Use the panel, create another channel!
Whatever could a newcomer think
Topics change in a single blink
Sensible queries lifelessly sink
Just give then a knowing wink
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC