Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)

This message brought to you by the makers of FLARD - the new Wonder-Product!!
No whales or cetacean by-products are used in the manufacture of Flard

Sponge: The Epic - Part 10.999

Enter the quagmire of the Unofficial
All is permitted and nothing approved
Things temporary and superficial
Parts of the landscape abruptly removed

Somewhere deep in the miasma
The Heroes of Sponge stay afloat
This would all be reduced to plasma
If Sponge were devoured by SpaceGoat.

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My Lyrical interpretation of something that virtually happened, more or less
Also brought to you by Wondrous FLARD, now environmentally friendly

20.00 Blocks under the Sea, Reprise

Bulkheads suddenly broken
Torrents flooded the place
Torches quenched to darkness
Then squid start fondling my face

Stuck in Davey Jones’ Locker
To Submarine depths I plunge
This may have been forestalled
If I had built the deck of Sponge

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To properly simulate the correct state of being for an enhanced poetic experience,
extend your arms outward, palms facing downward, and intone “brrrmmmmmmmmmmm”

Flight of the Sponge

Flying over the poriferan realms
Suspension of disbelief holds me aloft
One compensation in these barrens
If I fall, the landing will be soft

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Every user of Sponge gets a coupon for free FLARD! Free Sponge with every can of FLARD!

Bridge over the River Flard

Bring us the finest of Engineers
Laud us with the art of Great Techs
We need new paths to modded spheres
For we now labour under 1.8.X

Lay down the fresh wet Sponge bricks
Cross the chasm a dauntless vanguard
And when you announce the new Fix
We shall toast with a fresh vat of FLARD!

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What is your response to the allegations that FLARD has been responsible for the spontaneous combustion of thousands of people? And the fact that whale populations seem to decrease proportionally to the increased usage of FLARD?

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The Mad Scientists of Yggdrasyl Laboratories, Creators of FLARD, have prepared this statement
I have transcribed it from the original beer mat and translated it through cantonese and swahili

FLARD: It’s Time To Say …

Dance and Twirl and Frolic
Drink like you’re an alcoholic
FLARD has come to a town near you!

Cheer and Leap and Cavort
YggLabs have come to Exhort
FLARD lets you see the world anew!

Despite rumours and Tales
FLARD is NOT made from Whales
This Caveat to all of our Fans:

FLARD is made in a facility
that shares the ability
To process blubber into cans

If prepared by amateurs
With unwise parameters
FLARD may suddenly burst into flame

FLARD concentrate blocks
Stay behind secure locks
YggLabs thus defers any blame

The Secret Recipe remains
Hidden inside the brains
Of the Overlords of Yggdrasyl

The research continues
At our secretive venues -
Will Black FLARD be good or ill?

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The ETA for the new Spigot is in the same ball-park as Sponge. It’s a race!

Turning On the Spigot

Spigot promises a revival
To ensure plugin’s survival
Reversing the obfuscation by hand

Which will be done first?
Will Sponge or Spigot burst?
Will the effort be blown away like sand?

Yet, One way or another
Each project like a brother
Builds another shoulder to stand on

Every effort that is shared
Lets the best ideas be aired
Leaving none behind them to abandon

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Time for a Change of Pace: Sponge Surf Rock.
EDIT: Please note that this is not an instruction manual :wink:

Spammin’ in the IRC

Information wants to be free
DMCA means nothin’ to me
Send Lawyers Sponge and Money
Then where should we all be?
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC

Making conversation Hard
Distractions from an insane Bard
Intensive marketing of FLARD
Moderator holds up the Red Card
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC

Accidental flooding inundation
Bizarre nicks in high rotation
Weirdness in high concentration
The power of silly gravitation
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC

Set us free, unvoice the cacophony
Use the panel, create another channel!

Whatever could a newcomer think
Topics change in a single blink
Sensible queries lifelessly sink
Just give then a knowing wink
Spammin’ in the IRC, Spammin’ in the IRC

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The Minecraft Wotans-Day Show, starring words and punctuation.
In this episode, there will be no mention whatsoever of FLARD

Sponge: The Epic - Part 11.011

High Noon, in the scorching heat
No movement in the Github
Tumbleweeds roll down the street
Past the parched Sponge club

Inside there’s music and cool air
Relax and scratch your itches
Make schedules for the Scheduler
While me4502 makes sandwiches

Out on the cubular prarie
Searge rounds up the loose code
The EULA’s a tool to look Scary
That’s one thing we hope will explode

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Terraforming is such a delicate art. Except at the start, that can get pretty exciting.

Slartibartfast’s Lament

I was building a mountain range last night
Smoothing the knobbly newborn slopes
Unclimbable cliffs to dash all hopes
Then a few patches of gravel out of spite

A single stone block is the smallest brush
Larger tools have duller senses
Magnifying their consequences
Quickly turning fine detail into mush

With all the world and its tools explored
I will labour under no illusion
Finally I come to this conclusion
There’s no easy way to make yourself a Fjord

Thanks to WorldEdit, VoxelSniper, Terrain Control, WorldPainter, Climate Control, and more…

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A smoothly running server is like a nice hot cup of Tea. With more Bats.

The Tale of FLARD vs DMCA

They made the Bukkit go away
By accursed Digital Agreement
Bringing us to Sponge today
With Implementations to Invent

Cease and Desist, it declares
Developers Wrong Way Go Back
The Short path to avoid Bugbears
Is resorting to NMS Hack

Art and Music, Code and Name
Held in private repository
Nothing is free in this Game
All your FLARD belong to me

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Jules Verne had a great plan. Heap big gun, ride a bullet. BAM! You’re on the Moon.
This is nowhere nearly as well thought out, nor spelled as proper. Let it begin

The Secret Path to the Moon

The moon wanders across the dark sky
No-one can build that tall
The sky an invisible wall
In the daylight, where does it fly?

Under the world it is concealed
To follow I must dig down
To the real under-ground
Where the hidden moon is revealed

I dive past the bedrock border
…To perish in the airless Void
A circumstance I might avoid
With a Vacuuum Suit, via mail-order

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Exposed to GAMMA radiation, the vat of GE oatmeal slithers into life and goes on a rampage of destruction. Can the new chromatic FLARD save us? Who cares. Read this instead.

Sponge: The Epic - Part 12.206

Announcements made of Admins absent
From their usual Spongy thinks
Explained by Examinations imminent
Hence New Web Page’s b0rk3d links

The team of heroes still struggles
To reforge the old broken sword
With this many exciting new muggles
Be certain that they won’t get bored

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I have prepared a Dada sound poem, for the benefit of the Deaf and/or Insane.
This work may make your spell checker go barking mad.

Sponge vs Dada

Neep
squtch
neep frt
een trf gaaaah!
f’een chah grah
N-n-n-n-n chgachga FNEEE
tk tk ak tk
rnuur aughotaliktak uhnur
ssss Chuuuuuun ghsss
EEEEEE! shuchushhh
hrunigathung schk
Zog.

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An analogy is like a spongy tortoise on a blazing anthill in 11 dimensions, with ice cream
Welcome to Sponge.

Sponge: An Ecosystem

Within the cavernous pores
Tiny creatures creep therein
Creating order or waging wars
As suits their crazy whim

Chaos heralds their arrival
As they seek new niches to fit
Depending on Sponge for survival
Eager for every new bit

Sponge tolerates these guests
The API never stops
It will ignore the internal pests
As long as they don’t set up shops

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Another retelling of a dubious historical event from Yggdrasyl server
No names are named in this nameless tale of greed and destruction.

Chocolate Mountain

Phenomenal Transformations
Enabled by editing tools
Should not be taken lightly
Nor left in the hands of fools

Once upon a server tragic
A Mod selected a Mountain
Then with a little plugin magic
Made Cocoa Pods beyond Countin’

Then the Server crashed, no myth
“Cleanup in aisle 4, poppet”
I thought I’d be happier with
A million tons of Chocolate

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A modest business proposal for exploiting an as-yet unharnessed source of renewable power

What Energy Crisis?

Why do the undead burn in the sun?
What does this property earn us?
Unlimited solar power, for one
If we could fit them in a Furnace

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I present my somewhat mediocre tribute to our Great Poet.

In harnessing the remarkable new energy source of the undead, our engineers made a startling new discovery. Reports of highly mutagenic FLARD dotted across the countryside are wholly unrelated, yet beneficial.

An Ode to Mass Defect

Why do the undead appear?
When the Sun is no longer near.
Is their apparent flammability,
Due to some form of Solar radioactivity?

Perhaps they are signing off with a flare,
Before they depart to some far-flung lair.
To meet with ghosts of Creepers.
Who get there by process of E=MC^2!

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Samhain is my favourite season. Let the Day of the Dead begin!

Something Spongy This Way Comes

Wicked fires burn in the night
Burning brains of Jack-o-Lanterns
Walking Bones all bleached white
Marching out from gloomy caverns

Dead men wander hungry for brains
As lightning cracks in the sky
With Slender man, take great pains
Never to look in his eye

Gates to Hell are open tonight!
The dead souls wander the world
Fiery slimes cause fear and fright
As Ghast fireballs are hurled

The ominous woods resonate
With howling from a red-eyed dog
Witches laugh and curse your fate
Then turn you into a frog

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Quoted directly from another thread, your daily Sponge poem. Totally Flard Free (Flard is Free!)

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