Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)


“It’s only hubris if I fail” – Julius Caesar

Spongie Powered

The wonder that is Spongie
Brings joy to many a face
Spreading like xanthic fungi
Some spurn her squishy embrace

If you doubt the Spongy force
With which the threads are purled
There is cause to pause, because
Spongie always saves the world


"Never Stand Backwards!" - something a light bulb in a tree told me last Friday night

Caught in a Web

Consider the humble spider
Who dwells within her web
Digesting victims inside her
Waiting for hunger to ebb

Her prey become entangled
They get no chance to hide
The weaver won’t be wrangled
When she is six feet wide

This predator of nature
Subsists on bugs and flies
Considering her stature
We should also fear the skies


“All men are equal before fish.” -- Herbert Hoover

Luck of the Sea

There’s something fishy about mining
Somewhere the concepts intertwining
Together their fates are twisted

Sizzling pisces on a dish
Smelting the gold and silverfish
Can the concept be resisted?


One dumpster fire at a time… – tterrag

Server Side

Tasks are executing
Client is computing
Sponge is convoluting
Server side

All the points are floating
Checksums needing toting
Memory use is bloating
Server side

Never fear the server error
Have faith she will be clever
Remember that Spongie lurks inside

She’ll take her time updating
For 1.14 you’ll be waiting
So amongst spongedev you can confide

Builds will keep on flowing
As the API keeps growing
With the users only knowing
Server side

To those who are yet lurking
Nevermind Spongie’s twerking
We’ll try to keep it working
Server side

[*with apologies to Washington & Tiomkin for filking “Rawhide”]


"many lines were coded... many more followed... and in the end, all that remained was a beautiful ocean of Java poetry" -- WhichOnesPink

Spongie Had A Little Iamb

In Sponge we seek the new and spurn the old
To break and make the code anew, be bold
Encroaching on the hidden ways of mods
To tread on fingers thrust askew, at odds
With expectations Forge has wrought in fire
Draw harmony from chaos, her desire


“What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also”
– Gaius Julius Caesar


Many hidden things may lie
To our pre-conditioned eye
Lost behind a wall of consequences

Secret triggers undetected
Only know what was selected
As the manifold unveils to our senses

Are impenetrable workings
Embedded deep and lurking
Ever to stall the deepest analysis?

Let new ideas be embraced
Facts must always be faced
To be at one with truth is all of this


"My fingerpicking is a sort of cross between Pete Seeger, Earl Scruggs, and total incompetence." -- Jimmy Page

Noise in the Void

Vibrating like a string
It is a newborn thing
The ripple spreads
And thus embeds
In matter gently growing

Voids blacker than ebony
Sing a secret symphony
A striving synergy
Of mass and energy
Weaving hidden harmony


“My wheel has less corners.”
“Oh no, you’re writing it down?” – gravityfox


From the incessant drumming
Sponge one-fourteen is coming
The fourth release
Will give us cease
From all the erring and umming


Mushroom is musthave item in our world. It allows us be cat -- ReidenXerx

Status Service Standard Announcement

The status is the status quo
For the foreseeable future
That is all you need to know
Now back to your computer


Digital Ocean is still on fire – Vectrix

Magic Bullet

all is in chaos, so to cool it
we’re making a new magic bullet
to partake of this
perpetual bliss
you have the trigger, now pull it


The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russell.

Cash or Credit

Receipts please
The sweet debris
Of energy and labour

Love the scent
Of money spent
A curious behaviour


"Wow, that was an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget" -- Fozzie Bear

Litany of Bugs

Sages turning pages
Scour the annals of the ages
And the secret tomes of mages

Despite their education
They confess frustration
There is no explanation
Why it crashed


I’ve been using vim for years meself, mostly because I can’t figure out how to exit it
– ping_flavor

Sponge: The Epic - Part 69.811

These cavalier adventurers
Once more unto the fray
Dualspiral’s oratory
Held Zidane’s eye at bay

Return to see the splendour
Of A’therys and Almura
Adding 1 minute challenges
To interrupt the order

In the beginning, Lasers
Gave maximum overkill
Defeated by a humble book
At Cogwheel Temple still

Seven deadly signs (less 3)
Confounded all our challengers
The Tower left to aftermath
Its fire toggle lingers

The rambling intensified
With API seven and eight
New obfuscation mappings
Will bring a mass debate

The team continues striving
To keep our hopes alive
So have a Happy Birthday
Because Spongie is now five!


hello, please help me
the moon is 6 ore old, highfive!, time flies
first: sponge is not a key
second: move faster
third: check your phone twice
fix downward celebrations while fighting a piano
a translation by doot


Lettuce consider
A wandering bean
Melon coriander
Peppered by green

Today or tomato
Always carrot on
Quid pro potato
Just my op-onion


we are working on the new jerkins -- progwml6

Gherkins in Jerkins

Many things are broken
Repair crew on the scene
Words of woe are spoken
As they prepare to clean

Same as the beginnings
Packing everything in
Rushing on fixing things
Before FUD can begin

As Spongie’s world matures
Smooth corners become roughed
The Spongiverse endures
Securely stuffed with cruft


about as much fun as having your eyeballs sanded by an angry dwarf -- Mumfrey

Not Sandwiches

Poor Professor proton
Choking on the SPAM
Better bring a goat on
He doesn’t like spiced ham


If the facts are against you, argue the law.
If the law is against you, argue the facts.
If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell.
– Carl Sandburg

Mission Statement

Via parallel alignment of infrastructure
We potentiate synergised co-contributions
Promoted through lateral strategy culture
Syllogistic agency optimising solutions

Leverage eidetic data elevation
To capitalise upon emergent hope
Condensing all overflow minimisation
Achieving the status of subverted trope