Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)

As the bored, restless kid in the back seat says, “Are we there yet?”

Needs and Wants

We need a Convergence
Ere Sponge’s emergence
To unwrinkle many a brow

Those things left wanting
In Sponge’s accounting
Can’t wait any more - do it now!

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I sung that. LALALALALA, LALALALA!

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A devotion to a pull request for a can of worms. Mmmmmmm, worms.

To Break a Sponge

Plugin depends on Sponge
Sponge depends on Forge
Cutting out the middleman
Starts a bloody purge

Simple hacks with NMS
Plugins a conflicting mess
Anathema to Sponge’s aim
To break with updates less

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Whoever shall pulleth this Sponge from this Stone, shall be rightful Thing of Gitland

Sponge the Epic: Part 19.357

Frantic shuffling behind curtains
Our Heroes prepare to orate
Fate of Sponge still uncertain
Madding crowd swells at the gate

The core of Sponge is now bared
JavaDocs recording its litany
No ETA has yet been declared
A nebulous date with destiny

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Yggdrasyl Laboratories disclaim all responsibility and liability for the following work of art.

The Secret Recipe

It started as a consumer beverage
From abandoned Soviet research
Whale Pop gathered no market leverage
With no niche on which it could perch

Simulated Carbonated Blubber
Eco-friendly and high in good oils
Open the can, it doubled in volume
Consume it quick before it spoils

The mad scientists then conspired
Yggdrasyl Labs used RecipeManager
With SpoutCraft and Plugin required
And some novel ideas from Canada

Blend together Fish, Milk and Slime
Sterilise in an oven (or by irradiation)
Side effects growing a green cape sublime
Plus the odd exploding crafting station

Mycelium resulted in half of the tests
We greeted this mutation with approval
Flard blocks saved filling up our chests
Slippery as ice, exploding on removal

Flard has long passed from the server
Green, Blue, Red and Black, all burned
But we offer fish milkshakes to Minerva
For the day when our FLARD is returned.

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Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the Sponge, for it is soft and squishy…

Number of the Sponge

With help from Sponge creators
Translations were debated
With 144 Translators
Sponge is grossly saturated

Technical jargon time
Tongues tied up in knots
The Reason of the Rhyme:
Sponge wants more Polyglots

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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was talking about. Who are you people and where is my Coffee?

State of Sponge

A question not asked by the mass
Regarding the State of Sponge
Is it a solid, a liquid or a gas?
This morass into which we plunge

Demonstrations after the briefing
Test Sponge server with one Plugin
Soon explodes in Massive griefing
If you survived DarkArcana’s mugging

CraftBook Bridges appear and vanish
The hills fill with live TNT
Ops are here but none shall they banish
Letting Sponge testers roam free

Scant server lag with 60+ players
Enjoying the bouncy Castle of FLARD
Me4502 has silenced nay-sayers
Congrats to the Team for working so hard!

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@Inscrutable I would like to applaud you for FLARD and its many uses!

Forum lurkers need FLARD! Come to our thread!

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the electrons, the original inhabitants and custodians of this place

Sponge Decoder Ring

One API to Rule them all
One API to Bind them
One API to Bring them all
And dozens of third-party implementations all over the place

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A ##### thing happened to me on the way to the Forums…

Triumvirate

To the Ampitheatre of Sponge Forum
The weary sandals tread
Inside there is no formal Quorum
Three Overlords rule instead

This virtual city of promises
A termite mound of activity
Some will have conflicting premises
For such is their proclivity

Yet this order extends invisibly
Beyond city limits of authority
In compassion, respect, dignity
And personal responsibility

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Make of this what you will, be it platitudes or firelighters.

The Ship of Sponge

They translated the translations
From Transifex to CrowdIn
Confusing our ministrations
As Sponge Ship keeps expandin’

The languages it’s absorbed
Continue to inspire it
With faces bloody daubed
Be speakin’ like a Pirate

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I wonder if I can arrange for an Overlord to sing for the eventual conclusion of this epic? Preferably whilst wearing a viking hjelmet and holding a trident…

Sponge the Epic: Part 26.008

Flashing cutlasses across the deck
Valuable hands lost at Sea
Arguments damn near brought us to wreck
To bring about Sponge LLC

Cannon-smoke cleared, Captains three
Set a firmer hold on the tiller
The ship of Sponge stately sails free
From the grip of a corporate gorilla

Spoils may now be distributed
By the new LLC apparatus
For certain this tool was needed
To give our Spongy Plushie Status

Venturing unto the Chaos Puddle that was #sponge, I surveyed the barren landscape and sought solace in rhyme.

Imminence of SoS

The State of Sponge’s sequel
Coming soon to a screen near you
Forsooth, all things being equal
They might even listen to you too!

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At the dairy aisle at the supermarket, I suddenly had a golden vision

Spectre of Sponge

There is a spectre haunting Sponge
In every vector it will lunge
Always shadowing sponges images
The recurring phantom of the Cheese
Is it made from yellow poriphera
Or sliced Swiss and creamy Velveeta
The mysterious cheese enables you
To have your Sponge and eat it too

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Test Servers are an awesome occurrence. We should have one every week!

Fireballs and FLARD

Hiding by the FLARD factory
I saw the start of the melee
As gabizou procured a wand
Raining fire upon the land

Wands were cast into the crowd
It would have made Hephaestus proud
Fireballs flew from every hand
As sponge grew quietly across the land

Bridges, gates and elevators
Placed by the administrators
Gave many directions to run
From all the incandescent fun

Sponge still needs parts to be free
Permissions, persistence, all WIP
Though foundations are yet fresh cement
Know that Sponge needs more events!

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Like a bull at the gates of Eternity, so the wishes of grains of sand whisper in the clouds. Or something.

Whoops 2: The Whoopsening

As SpongeDocs focus magnifies
The Whoopsening Intensifies
With Spongy loose on Git
Making square pegs fit
Providing previews galore to analyse

A new status we chose to inject
To protect an unfinished object
The tag “WIP”"
May rapidly be
Manifested all over the Project

[Title stolen from a PR by gratimax and/or Spongy]

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This story of loss and redemption brought to you by the FLARD, may it outlast polyethylene

Launching Sponge

There’s many a slip between keyboard and chair
That wends into chaos and coding despair
Tangles result given enough time and rope
The new PEBKAC detector brings a new hope
It warns of the thing one should never try
To Compile and Launch the bare Sponge API

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Welcome to Sponge Celebrity Death-match! The winner collects their body-weight in FLARD!

Spongie vs Travis

Travis is receiving much beration
Giving Dis-Continuous Integration
We shall paint your place in Alabaster
Teaching you that Spongie is your master

Apologies to Sting/The Police for filking :wink:

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Progress always comes with a beat. Sometimes it beats on you.

Musical Spongy Chairs

Channels are quiet all over
Sponge needs a soundtrack that rocks
Dance, every poriphera lover
'til whenever the music stops
And we all sit down to discover
They’ve rearranged all of the Docs

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