“Why don’t you ever quote me?” – gravityfox
Haiku Everything
Well met, good readers!
Oblivious to your fate
As poem fodder
Is there no topic
That cannot be transfigured
Into a haiku?
All Spongedocs topics
May now appear summarised
In poetic rants
dude
MAKE ANOTHER LANGUAGE TRANSLATION WHERE EVERYTHING IS HAIKUS
“Gentlemen, we sit too long on Trifles.” – Bill the Bard
Sponge: The Epic - Part 45.833
Provided with mysterious new dirt
Where paths may be revealed
Those following must stay alert
For the way is often concealed
Those who Forge the path ahead
All other roads they have sampled
Heroes of Sponge, with wary tread
They travel the road less trampled
We stand upon the shoulders of giants… or is that elephants?
Tall Encounters
A stack of pigs and a stack of cows
Went to sea in an acacia boat
Sadly they sank and half drowned
The other half-stacks stayed afloat
A passing column of squid assisted
To rescue the surviving mob heaps
Their valiant effort was resisted
By a tower of guardians from the deeps
The ensuing laser carnage debacle
Made meat rain on the boiling brew
Throw in a shower of vegetables
To turn the ocean into Irish stew
Avogadro. Avanother, there’s plenty to go around.
To Post or Not to Post
To be is to do, to do is to be
In order to POST you must PRE
If it’s not in the queue
Then there’s nothing to do
Timing is critical, don’t you see
If you learn its eccentricities you will discover FLARD is mind-meltingly powerful
IDEmpotence
It’s no use kicking sand
The gulf is wide betwixt
Malevolent IntelliJ and
The diabolical Eclipse
Their wicked ways diverge
By many means and modes
Subtle differences emerge
And warring bands of coders
We can conceive the means
To draw them back together
Create plugins (with netbeans)
So that each resembles the other
In all honesty;
Your rime-ing is excessive,
your topics of little importance,
your poems repetitive.
Yet - there is a silent beauty,
a quiet wisp behind your words,
a small creature hiding in the brush.
A hidden entendre - sewn into your speeches.
It’s ever so easy to read the letters,
but the meaning remains hidden.
The power of Sponge is clear.
The power of words is muddy.
Incredible are your ballads, wonderful are your haikus,
and yet I still ask:
“Why, for what, and when?”
Bravo bravo… here is one more poet heading for greatness 
If all you have is a Spanner, does everyone start to look like a Nut?
Deja Vu Part 3
Have I said this before?
That when lost for meter
Shopping for frames of reference
Repetition of old lore
From inception to beta
Renders the appearance of diligence
Look behind, see the pattern
The path we tread is old
Scry the past for whatever’s next in store
Nothing new beneath the sun
Every tale is already told
Pardon me, but have I said this before?
That which does not kill you could still make you walk funny for days. – FLARDrich Nietzche
Jump in the Deep End
Who needs tutorials?
Just jump onto the stage
Guess and grab the tools you’ll need and try
The voyage of discovery
Of a trial-and-error rampage
Will teach you of the many reasons why
inb4 Inscrutable posts a peom on the forums 
– Tzk
Cat-herder
Fail-safe feline redirection
The rare talent of cat herding
Inimical to common perception
Can be more than wishful wording
This very message can show you how:
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Wear the armour of dharma and never fear karma – some portly dude
Layers of Layers
Hidden in a tiny house
inside a little shed
within a modest barn
enclosed in a keep
at the heart of a castle
in the centre of a city
surrounded by wilderness
Lies a tiny box
within a little bag
buried in a rucksack
stuffed into a chest
hidden in a cupboard
behind a hidden door
below a false stairway
The note inside says
OUT OF MEMORY ERROR
it should be stackoverflowerror, cause recursion and stuff.
o happy FLARD channel rejoice
Is Not
FLARD is not safe FLARD is virulent
FLARD is not wise FLARD is random
FLARD has no meaning FLARD is redolent
FLARD is not sane FLARD is freedom
FLARD is not here FLARD is there
FLARD is not hers FLARD is not his
FLARD is impassive FLARD does not care
FLARD is not FLARD oh wait it is
If everything worked as expected, people would never discover anything new
Something Happened
For want of a Token, the Forum was broken
As the web-tech-rats scurry to repair
Maybe it’s chokin’ on whatever they’re smokin’
In the government office up the stair
Prithee, do join the poriferan circle and raise a toast to her squishiness!
Sponge: The Epic - Part 47.202
Code-warriors advance on their goal
Finding the fonts of frustration
Shaking the tree to see what will fall
Breaking and remaking teleportation
Battles with threads go 'til morning
Coffee dwindles as repositories inflame
If it breaks there’s an elegant warning
So those still awake know who to blame
Fixing glitches and priming the timing
Playing code whack-a-mole now and then
Ever upward the hill they’re climbing
Over the rise rears the head of 1.10
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day – PBlock96
Transcendental Sponge
Let’s assume that SpongeAPI’s range
Is the product of unpredictable change
An indefinite army of spongineers their genesis
We informally define as a result
The probability that Sponge will halt
This chance may be called Spongie’s Nemesis
This real number (though not irrefutable)
Is Transcendental and thus not computable
We have no means to even guess the numbering
A form of Chaitin’s Constant employed
Weird transcendent creatures fill the void
Outside the computable realm we work within
Is 403 an auspicious number?
The Dance of SOS XI
Prepare your pants
for the vigorous dance
we all call SOS
Sponge is revealed
with nothing concealed
not even a flimsy dress
The Steganographer General has certified this message
Sponge: The Epic - Part 48.960
Approaching the latest Minecraft at last
Choking up Twitch with the chatter
Eleven States of Sponge have now passed
Far more than conventional matter
This roaming road of development
May sometimes seem steep or bumpy
If stuck you can always sleep on it
Although it might be a little lumpy