Sponge Encyclopedia of Programming Jokes

General Discussion Off Topic
93

Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender

http://programmingexcuses.com/

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94

Coding is like sex. One mistake, and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

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95

A QA Engineer walks into a bar. He orders a beer. He orders 0 beers. He orders 999999999 beers. He orders a lizard. He orders -1 beers. He orders a sfdeljknesv.

Source + More Similar Jokes: http://www.sempf.net/post/On-Testing1.aspx

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96

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97

String[] hiphip = new String[0];

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98

This is a terrible joke that I just came up with

Knock knock.
Callback.
Who’s there?
Node.JS

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99

This thread needs revival.

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100

“Hi, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?”
“Yes, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“OK, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.”
“Ok, I will hear a TCP joke.”
“Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?”
“Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.”
“Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.”
“Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline.”
“I’m sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?”

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101

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world, those who know binary and those who don’t.

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world, those who know binary, those who don’t, and those who didn’t expect this to be in base 3.

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world. The ones who know hexadecimal, and F the rest.

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103

My mom (who doesn’t like me going into computers instead of medical like her) sent this one to me once… Didn’t have the effect she thought I would have

Also this is the closest you can get as a kiss from a girl

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104

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105

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106

Although strictly speaking not a joke, I thought this talk was hilarious: Wat

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107

Any programmer can relate to this

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108

Not if they’re using IntelliJ. :stuck_out_tongue:

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109

I was talking about programmers just starting out… we have all been there at one point

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110

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112

/r/ProgrammerHumor is leaking :stuck_out_tongue:

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113

I actually press ctrl+s in intellij too, it’s a habit now and I can’t get rid of it.

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114

Which is a good habit cuz for some time I have been using atom as my ide… Yes atom cuz I prefer it for rust… And until 2 weeks ago I didn’t have autos Ave… Needless to say a lot lost work… Intellij makes makes too lazy